martes, 14 de octubre de 2008

La colaboración plagiada del mes

El Zato transoceánico nos manda una chula version de la Creación. Está sin traducir pero.... lo haré algún día.............

"In the beginning there was absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing,"he said. "But nothing implies something, just as up implies down and sweet implies sour, as man implies woman and drunk implies sober and happy implies sad. I hate to tell you this, friends and neighbors, but we are teensy-weensy implications in an enormous implication. If you don´t like it here, why don´t you go back to where you came from? "The first something to be implied by all the nothing," he said, "was in fact two somethings, who were God and Satan. God was male. Satan was female. They implied each other, and hence were peers in the emerging power structure, which was itself nothing but an implication. Power was implied by weakness."
"God created the heaven and the earth," the old, long-out-of-printscience fiction writer went on. "And the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. Satan could have done this herself, but she thought it was stupid, action for the sake of action. What was the point? She didn´t said anything at first."But Satan began to worry about God when He said, `Let there be light,´ and there was light. She had to wonder, `What the heck does He think He´s doing? How far does He intend to go, and does He expect me to help Him take care of all this crazy stuff?´"And then the shit really hit the fan. God made man and woman, beautiful little miniatures of Him and her, and turned them loose to see what might become of them. The Garden of Eden," said Trout, "might be considered the prototype for the Colosseum and the Roman Games."
"Satan," he said, "couldn´t undo anything God had done. She could at least try to make existence for His little toys less painful. She could see what He couldn´t: To be alive was to be either bored or scared stiff. So she filled an apple with all sort of ideas that might at least relieve the boredom, such as rules for games with cards and dice, and how to fuck, and recipes for beer and wine and whiskey, and pictures of different plants that were smokable, and so on. And instructions on how to make music and sing and dance real crazy, real sexy. And how to spout blasphemy when they stubbed their toes."Satan had a serpent give Eve the apple. Eve took a bite and handed it to Adam. He took a bite, and then they fucked."
Kilgore Trout

esto es solo una comprobación de audiencia casera.....

Este viernes es el cumpleaños de nuestro adorado Pikillo, de los Sanz de toda la vida. Por la ocasión se celebrará una cenuqui el sábado a eso de las 22.00 en casa del homenajeado, que, cosas de la vida, es la mía también.
En fin, que a ver cuanta gente se entera de la cena por esta entradillllla.

No pongo la direción para que no aparezca gente que nadie invitó, los invitados saben donde está el Pikillo Headquarters.

lunes, 16 de junio de 2008

Nunca contestes así a un poli...

Laurute WebSearch Slayer presents...
Never Answer Like This To a Cop...
Nunca Contestes así a un Poli...

# I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
# No puedo alcanzar mi carné si no me aguantas la birra. ( correcto en Texas)

# Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
# Lo siento agente, no me di cuenta de que mi detector de radar estaba apagado.

# Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
# ¿No eres tú el de los Vilas Pipol?

# Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
# ¡¡¡Mecamensos!!, has tenido que ir a mas de 150 por hora para pillarme: ¡Buen trabajo!

# Are You Andy or Barney?
# ¿Tú eres Paco o Romerales?

# Is it true that guys become cops because they can't work at McDonald's ?
# ¿Es verdad que os haceis polis porque no os cogen en el Mac Donals?

# You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
# ¿No vas a registrarme el maletero, verdad?

# If you'd try the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight.
# Si probaras la mercancía que llevo, no serías tan jodidamente estirado.

# Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
# ¡Qué guay, agente, el último poli también me dió un aviso!

# Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
# ¿Sabes porqué me has parado? bien, así que solo uno de los dos lo sabe.

# I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
# Intentaba alcanzar al tráfico. Sí, ya sé que no hay coches. Eso es todo lo lejos que están de mi.

# What? You need a license to drive?
¿Ein? ¿Se necesita un carné para conducir?

# Is your power a penis substitute?
¿Es tu poder un sustituto del pene?

# Yes, I know my driving is not 100%, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
Sí, sé que mi conducción no está al 100%, pero tienes que estar de acuerdo en que es bastante bueno para alguien que está completamente pedo.

# Can you come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation.
¿Puedes volver en cinco minutos? estoy en medio de una conversación telefónica.

# Oops...I thought you were a prostitute.
¡Uy! Pensé que eras una putilla.

# Do I have any fruits or vegetables? I don't know. Is cocaine a fruit or vegetable?
¿Qué si tengo alguna fruta o verdura? No sé. ¿Es la cocaína fruta o verdura?

# Did you pull me over because of the drugs under the seat, the body in the trunk, or the burned out tail-light?
¿Me has parado por la droga bajo el asiento, el cadáver en el maletero, o o el intermitente trasero fundido?

# Hey, is that a 9mm ? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
Hey, ¿ese eso una 9 mm.? ¡Eso no es nada comparado con esta Magnum 44!

# Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?
¿Tienes idea de la prisa que tengo?

# I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
Pensaba que había que estar en relativa buena forma física para ser poli.

# Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut.
Sí, vi tus luces, pero pensé que ibas a por un donut.

Traducido por Laurute Lang.

viernes, 30 de mayo de 2008

Calvin y Hobbes

He encontrado una web muy guapa, buscando tiras de Calvin. Aquí os la dejo.
Comics and online editorial cartoons on Gocomics
Hala! a disfrutarla chavales!!!